We see this on television and in the movies. The boyfriend comes to the girlfriend’s house and the father asks, “What are your intentions with my daughter?” A fair question but imagine for a moment if we approached every relationship with a similar question. Of course, intentions change as we do but I think it is an interesting thought.
I once had a friend who told me an acquaintance of mine had an offer for me to go and see my fave band for my Birthday. My first thought was what did this acquaintance want. The answer was she had tickets for two dates and my friend could only go to one. Simple enough, right?
Truth was there was some serious life lessons I needed from this acquaintance and her world. Maybe it was Karma, maybe it was just me growing up. No matter, the original thought must have been something deep in my soul which knew this friendship was more than the normal or average friendship. This would be a friendship to change my life. The intention though through out was about being friends, which can encompass so much.
Let’s look at a different side of intention. The above spoke about what another might want from us but what if we think about what we might from someone. I think most of us try to participate in our world with the best of intentions but like everything they may not happen as we like. In daily life our intention to complete a task or go somewhere might be put off because life gets in the way. In relationships intentions can miss the mark because after we are all human. Let’s explore a little of the relationship aspect.
We may meet someone who we are so attracted to that we think they are the end all be all. They will make our world perfect but that is our intention, some may even say a fantasy. For the other party this might have been just a passing fancy which they have never thought about again. Could be we never shared out intention with the other. Could be it was never reciprocated from the other party. While we might not have had our intentions met we may have enjoyed the ride.
Then you may find someone who you feel will meet those intentions. They will create a persona which will play on your needs at first. They will tell you everything you need to hear and even treat you like no one ever has. So your intention is love and they say so is theirs. So you commit to each other only to discover once the commitment is made that they value you as a piece of meat or a possession. Something they own. Once ownership is established they begin to play on your insecurities and self-worth. Looking back you know you were warned but you only saw Dr Jekyll and miss Mr. Hyde completely because your intention was all about Love.
So now you’re forced to change you’re intentions. You’re in a situation where you can choose to be stuck with Mr. Hyde and possibly get to a point where they have driven your self-esteem so far down that the only way out is for you to end the game. Here comes the fork in the road. Do you take yourself out by ending it all or do you walk away. Either way your intention is to be free. The strong walk away and see where life will take them. The other, well their intention may not come to fruition quickly but it is now their life mission. I know both outcomes well.
So in a love relationship your intention is to be loved and give love in return. Simple right, it can be but somehow in most cases our intentions get muddled and lost somewhere along the line. All is not lost if we take the time and make clear intentions again and work through things. Being clear about our needs especially when we’re part of a couple makes things go so much smoother than not speaking up. I know this is rather a simplistic take but this blog post would be much longer if I delved deeper.
On a side note I have to say its funny how our intentions change. Just this morning when I started think about writing about intentions it had nothing to do with relationships. This morning on the car ride in it was all about the power of intention so I guess now that will be a topic for another time.
Blood Moon on April 15, 2014 taken from my deck.
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