This year has been a hard one on many levels. Other than losing my friend earlier this year there has been no other death that has affected me so much. Earlier today I was playing with one of my Christmas gifts, Lego: Star Wars: Force Awakens. I had managed to unlock General Leia this morning and thought as I was playing how the little character was kicking ass and taken names while I knew the real Carrie Fisher was lying in a hospital bed fighting for her life. There was something bittersweet, in playing the game.
About fifteen minutes, after I stopped I felt like I was dropped kick, Carrie had lost her fight. They said she was stable and I was hoping for the best even though I feared for the worse in the days after they announced her condition. She had gone too long after her heart attack without oxygen and even if she came back would she really come back. No matter the news this morning left me feeling at a loss. Why some will ask? It wasn’t like she was a friend. This is true but she was a person that offered me something without even knowing me.
In 1977, my parents had separated and life was all over the place for me. I knew though that when my Dad picked me up if I told him I wanted to see Star Wars, most of the time we would go. It was there that I could imagine that I was all grown up and I was Princess Leia. I was in charge. I was going to help fix things and save the rebellion. With my Christmas money I purchased a few action figures, of course, Princess Leia was one. I got Luke and Han too and well I need the evil character too. So Darth was purchased and quickly lost his arm to a dog.
For Christmas, that year, I got at Princess Leia doll who, quickly lost her buns.(I still have her.She’s the one in the picture.) With my Christmas money I purchased a few action figures, of course, Princess Leia was one. I got Luke and Han too and well I need the evil character too. So Darth was purchased and quickly lost his arm to a dog. Star Wars was my life and my salvation.
Star Wars was my life and my salvation. Even though it was my fave movie like with the Fonz I knew they were just actors. Even though I was only nine, I learned Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamil and Harrison Ford’s real names. They were my saving grace. I looked at my grandmother’s and mother’s Hollywood tabloids to see if there were any pictures or news.
I guess what I’m saying her portrayal of Princess Leia offered me something I had never truly seen, and that was strength and courage. Sure I liked watching Wonder Woman and The Shazam/Isis hour on Saturday morning. However, they were all superheroes, Carrie wasn’t she was just a kick ass woman. She wasn’t scared to shoot a hole into the garbage shoot or be a little cocky. She could be tough on the outside and still in a moment when it was all going to go away, be vulnerable.
Somehow watching her on the screen, made those few hours perfect. She gave a little girl hope when all she had was uncertainty.
While I know Carrie Fisher was so much more that just a princess or a general, She was a balls to the wall honest woman. She wasn’t afraid of being herself, warts and all and if there is a lesson I can take from her is to own who you are. Be yourself and love yourself and if you can inspire someone with your honesty then, by all means, do so.
There have been tears today, for the Princess that I lost, but what comes to mind if what Obi-Wan says as they enter Alderaan’s space“I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.” Why does this come to mind, well today millions of voices are crying out from the Princess who is suddenly silenced.
May the Force Be With you Carrie!
© 2016 copyright D.M. Needom, Readings by Dauna and ReadingsbyDauna@aol.com all rights reserved.